Wish you a very-very happy Birthday...

My Dear Sarakshi,

Today you are going to complete one year and I can see the most happiest person of the world in front of me...dressing you up for today’s party. The party you may hardly remember but for your mother this is just like  achieving a mile stone..From the day, you were born..She has celebrated 15^th of every-month and wished you happy birthday every time.

Truly speaking, you are just like a dream come true for Us.

In everybody’s life, few times only the moment comes when they celebrate their wish in reality. First, I celebrated it on 26^th April 2008 when I got married with your mother and second was on 15^th Feb, 2011 when your mother has promoted me as your father. I believe this will be the best promotion of any man’s life or you can say the best gift from her better-half. And even for this, God has not made any return gift. So the only thing I could say to your mother was “thanks”. And I will really be thankful to her for my whole life, for giving me such a wonderful daughter. Really sweet-heart, I always wished for a girl child and your mother has full-filled my wish.

You were just 3 days old when you travelled your first journey. This was the day when your mother got discharged from the hospital and you were going to see your home very first time. Though this is rented house but this is the place where your parents have shared all their happiness, sadness, pleasure with each other. And this is the place where they have dreamed for you.  

 I am not sure about your cricket interest as of now but just want to tell you that you had watched all the matches of 2011 world cup and you had enjoyed the celebration of winning the world cup with us on the roads of Bangalore till mid-night of 2^nd April, 2011. We received a lot of comments like “Meethi aayi world-cup laayi” from our family and friends. And truly dear, all Indian cricket fan got this moment after 28 years wait and that to the year when we got you.

Lifestyle of the young couple has been changed. As per the new time-table, your mother took a break from her professional life and started serving you for 24*7. For me also, now there are two babies to take care and to love. I started working hard on daily basis to leave office as soon as possible. Your mother used to share all of your activities whenever we used to talk during my office time and also in the evening when I reach home. Sometimes the same story 2 times. She has tried to capture all your moves, sometimes she noted down your first word , your first toy etc in a scrap book, sometimes she used to run behind you holding camera in her hands, sometimes she just keep watching you when you were sleeping on her lap.

After 5 months, you started exploring your home and now it was becoming hard for us to catch you. We used to put you near your toys but you were more interested for cutlery items like spoon, bowl etc, which we forgot somewhere on the table. By each passing day you were becoming more active and now it has became really hard for us to capture your moves but at the same time we were enjoying your new-new activities. And it was someday in November when you had taken your first step towards your parents. We both were very excited to store the moment but you had not allowed us to capture and still we haven’t got the chance to store your steps in camera, though it will always be there in our heart & memories. But don’t worry your father will never give up J

“Hey, see our baby got tooth”, one day your mother shouted. I don’t know if any of us(Me & your mother) were having half of this excitement for their own tooth, but after seeing our bunny rabbit we were very much excited and your mother used to show me your tooth mark whenever you kiss/bite her but still I am waiting for such mark on my face, may be my beard is the culprit.

Today morning when we wished you “Happy Birthday”, you yourself were clapping for your birthday. And when you came to see the decoration for your birthday, holding your mother’s hand, I was seeing how strongly 21^st century is trying to get support from 20^th century for moving forward and how 20^th century was helping her for placing her steps correctly.  My sweet-heart, your parent will always be there to help you and I wish if you may have the same faith as you are having now.

Love you sweet-heart

Ur father

Love you sweet-heart

The day when we were falling for each-other,

And tried to believe, it’s not real.

The bonding becoming deeper by each passing day,

But we confidently covered it by every possible way.

We are just good friends but she is not mine,

I lied and assumed its fine.

We got so giddy while meeting eyes,

But keep reminding our self, it’s not right.

A simple glance turned into a stare,

But we pretend as we don’t care.

My feeling for her, I shouldn’t show

It’s wrong for her to know.

Our friendship cant’ be risked over this,

So being her man is just an impossible wish.

Thoughts were coming and going in the mind,

God has also given us some sign.

And Finally,

We wished something close to impossible.

Fail was fixed, still we took the risk.

Chances of falling were high, but we decided to walk another mile.

Holding hands we were running on the hot sand,

Believing that, its journey only, that matters at the end.

As flowers grow in the dark light,

And fragrance never dies.

After so many ups and down,

Our love has given us chance to fly.

The day came, when sun was mine,        

All the stars had fallen down in a straight line.

Everybody has blessed us for a prosperous future,

Hot summer had become spring weather.

But I feel God was happier for me than you,

As he given me a wife likes you.

A best friend for life time ,

A person who makes me shines.

I know it’s very small to say thanks to you,

So from bottom of my heart, I just say “I love you.”

  

जीवन का आधार हो तुम...

इस जीवन का आधार हो तुम,

मुझमे जो भी अच्छा है, वो विचार हो तुम।

थाम कर उंगली तेरी, मैंने है चलना सीखा,

कन्धों पर तेरे बैठकर, मैंने है उड़ना सीखा,

तेरे भरोसे ही, दुनिया से लड़ना सीखा,

तुझे देखकर ही, खुद पर यकीन करना सीखा।

मेरी हर सफलता का सार हो तुम,

मुझमे जो भी अच्छा है, वो विचार हो तुम।

अपने दुःख में रात-रात जगाया है तुम्हे,

अपनी जिद की खातिर, कितना सताया है तुम्हे,

विचारों की लड़ाई में, आहत भी किया है तुम्हे,

ख्वाइशों की चाहत में, बाधित भी किया है तुम्हे।

पर सच एक और भी है कि,

मेरी हर चाहत का आधार हो तुम,

मुझमे जो भी अच्छा है, वो विचार हो तुम।

"जीवन संघर्ष है ", यही पाठ पडाया है मुझे,

झूठ-मूठ ही हार कर, जीतना सिखाया है मुझे।

मैं मजबूत हूँ क्योंकि मेरी नीवं में तुम हो मिले

यही पार्थना है ईश्वर से कि,

हर किसी को पिता आप सा मिले।

अब बुलाने से भी तू नहीं आता

अब बुलाने पर भी तू नहीं आता

मंदिरों-शिवालों  से भी तेरे रहने का पता नहीं पाता|

कभी तो कण-कण में तेरे होने का अहसास था

अब तो मंदिरों की घंटियाँ बजाने पर भी तुझे पास नहीं पाता|

वक़्त वो भी था जब मांगने से पहले ही तू सब कुछ दे जाता था 

सच्चाई की जीत के लिए खुद ही धरती पर उतर आता था 

इक विश्वास पर सारथि भी बन जाता था तू

इक आस्था पर प्राण भी लौटा जाता था तू

फिर आज तुझे क्या हो गया

आज तू कहाँ सो गया 

एक ही रावन था  तब जब तू धरती पर आया था

एक ही द्रोपदी थी जिसका चीर-हरण बचाया था

एक ही प्रहलाद था जब सिंह रूप तुमने धर डाला

फिर आज क्यों ,

हर बार कोई रावन ही जीत जाता है

हर रोज ही किसी द्रोपदी का चीर-हरण हो जाता है

और हर रोज ही एक प्रहलाद यही कहते हुए मर जाता है

कि

अब बुलाने से भी तू नहीं आता.

मैंने देखा है, रंग सपनो के बदलते हुए...

मैंने देखा है, रंग सपनो के बदलते हुए,

और पाने की चाहत में, अपने जज्बातों से लड़ते हुए,

नम आँखों के कोनो में, सिक्को की चमक पलते हुए,

सूरज सा चमकने की चाहत में, खुद के भीतर जलते हुए,

मैंने देखा है, रंग सपनो के बदलते हुए.

मुट्ठी भर आसमान ही चाहत थी जिनकी,

उन्ही लोगों को, दो गज जमीन के लिए लड़ते हुए,

आज में जीने वालों को, कल के लिए मरते हुए,

खवाइश लिए परिवार की, अपनों से अलग चलते हुए,

मैंने देखा है, रंग सपनो के बदलते हुए.

हर किसी को तारों को छूना है

हर किसी को सबसे उचा होना  है

उच-नीच  की इस लड़ाई में, 

तारों तक पहुचने की पढाई में,

अपनों से झगड़ते हुए,

भावनाओ से खिलवाड़ करते हुए, 

मैंने देखा है, रंग सपनो के बदलते हुए.

सुना है अक्सर मैंने भी,

कुछ पाने के लिए, कुछ खोना पड़ता है 

स्वर्ग अगर हो जाना तो, मरना पड़ता ही है 

अक्सर ऐसी आत्माओं को,

अपने जीवन के लिए लड़ते हुए,

नरक के रास्तों पर, बड़े कदमो से चलते हुए,

मैंने देखा है, रंग सपनो के बदलते हुए...

Just Bcoz I am your father...

My Sweet baby,

Now you are eighth months old and I can visualize your growth very clearly. I have no idea about your looks but still I imagine you, Sometimes just like your mother, innocent face, big eyes and sweet smile with dimples and sometimes it’s me who reflects in you.
              Now you are enough capable to take your mother’s attention all the time and also started taking her sleep away. Sometimes your mother tries to shows me your spongy activates but on the next, your movement becomes as silent as you are the most decent baby of the world. I have doubt on your decency but at the same time I feel confident about your smartness.

              And that’s the reason; here I am addressing you very first time. I just want to share my feelings with you, want to tell you some of my plans which I have for you. I don’t know how relevant this will be for you. Will you be agreeing with me or not? Will you be enough mature to understand your father or not? But Still I am writing this for you because of my father-hood. I think somehow I am also carrying the same container which I got from my father who always wants to plant his views inside me. And thats why, sometimes I see you in Indian cricket team, sometimes on the ramp, sometimes as a great Indian leader and sometimes I see you in the uniform of Indian army. I have no idea about your liking and disliking but still I have set these plans for you.

              Truly speaking dear, these were my plans for me. I wanted to be part of any of these but couldn’t and now being your father I want to impose these on you. But I demand you not to bother about any of my wish. I know I am wrong but being a father I may never accept this and that’s the reason I want to be your friend. A friend, who just wants to see you happy and successful. I heard a theory which says that father-son becomes friend when they wear the same number of shoe but at the same time this theory doesn’t say anything about father-daughter friendship. So in my views this theory covers just half of truth and to which I don’t believe because I haven’t experienced the same in my life. So my dear from the day when you will understand the meaning of the friendship I will count you my friend and I wish if you could feel the same.

                 I can give you lots of reason and excuse for my failure, not achieving my dreams but the truth is, I was neither enough confident about my dreams nor I had a friend who trust me more than myself. But I will trust you and that’s why I will ask you to choose a dream for your life and take your dream confidently. I promise, you will always find me there with you, sometimes to motivate you, sometimes to hold you and sometime just to cheer for you. And trust me your father will be the happiest person of the world when-ever you will convert any of your dreams into reality. 

           My dear, we (me and your mother) both want to give you all the comfort which we can afford and also which we missed in our child-hood but I will never like incase this will make you weedy.

            I don’t know that you are my son or my daughter but one thing which I want to make you clear right now, is that, you are not going to get any favor based on your gender. I will be equally strict and equally friendly in either of case. I may allow you to do mistakes and will guide you for not repeating the same but nobody will be able to save you from me in case you misbehaved with your elders, especially with your mother.

to be continued ...

A trip to remember

Hampi, one of the UNESCO World Heritage Sites and a famous historical place; historical for us but famous in foreigners. I heard about the place from my cousin who is a history student, but any place having lots of temple was never my first preference to roam around and that’s why every time my Hampi trip got postponed. But as we all know, it’s always a better choice to move at life’s direction when you are not getting any better move by yourself; finally I booked the ticket in Hampi Express and visited this place. And truly speaking this was one of my heart pleasing trips till today.

Rocks, river, hills, breath-taking views, our TVS-champ; the bike I have taken on rent to roam around, round-boats, our hut, our nature walks and most prominently, the monuments, which includes beautiful temples, palaces, remains of  collapsed structures, ancient market streets, royal pavilions etc-etc. Every monument covers more than what they expose. This was my child-hood dream if I could live inside history pages and Hampi has made it true.

This was our last day in Hampi and that’s why nobody, neither we nor our camera was very charged. Nothing much was left to explore. We had arrested around 400 pictures as well as 5-6 nice videos of this paradise. Our camera was very much overloaded with our earlier day’s fun and we too feeling the same hangover.

It was 10:00 a.m. and we were still in the bed. Accepting the fact, finally I put my camera for charging and in-between Rashmi called room-service and ordered two teas.  I think each of us were pushing other to get ready for the day. Finally around 11:30 we were ready to explore the remaining part of hampi. We still wanted to add lot more for our memory and that’s why Rashmi’s right hand was always outside the taxi, holding camera in her hand whereas I was trying the same but through my eyes. In other words I can say we both were busy in collecting the proof of this awesome and unbelievable place in our own ways.

“Memory Full “, suddenly Rashmi got this message on the camera screen. I think our camera had just given up by saying I can’t read the history further. But Rashmi was not in mood to stop and that’s why she started cleaning all unwanted elements from the camera. She was busy doing her job and I was just watching, how she is keeping all my pictures even if it’s bad but not giving the same favor to her pictures; I believe this is one of her silent way to say, “I love you more than myself.”

In between we finished all the places and stopped to have lunch and she was again busy with clean up where as I was looking into menu card.

“Look! It’s showing ‘zero images’ message.” I heard a confused voice of Rashmi. Immediately I seized the camera and checked. “Fuckkkk” this was the only word which I could speak that time. She was correct; there was no image in the camera. We had lost all the beautiful memories within a fraction of time.  We were almost faint. Usually in this situation I used to shout but this time I was totally silent. I think it’s because I have already seen the guilty feeling in her eyes or maybe it’s because I knew she is sadder than me. Whatever, but the truth is, we had lost all the proofs of this unbelievable journey. I know this may sound very stupid but really, we were out of mind for some time, totally blank, not able to have a bite of our food. Only wish was to rewind our life for five minutes.

Definitely some people may call us crazy, for reacting in such a manner and that to for some pictures. But my theory is slightly different in this case which says every picture contains a story behind it, may be a small but always, just like monuments.

Well, we took 30 minutes to recover. I checked the time, its 2:30 pm. Still 5 hrs left to go. “What to do?” We asked to each other. Let’s stop here, may be its all destiny written, we can’t do anything. Let’s re-start this again and write a brand new destiny. Evil me and good me were fighting loudly and truly speaking, I couldn’t understand anyone’s voice but asked the taxi driver to take “U” turn. I didn’t know, was I trying to get her smile back or it was my “Never give-up” attitude, but again our taxi was running on the same old roads.

Hampi is really a dream place for many tourists who want to visit these historical monuments at least once in their life-time and its, us who were turning the same history pages again, that too, in the interval of 2-3 hrs. I don’t know its funny or being luckier, but anyhow, we had recovered almost 60 % memories back.

I was recalling the “If” poem of Rudyard Kipling and feeling like a “Man”.

I know this is very small incident, may be not worth to discuss or write. But when I rewind my life in thoughts I found many more similar incidents in which sometime I lost my best friend, sometime I misunderstood my brother, sometime I made my parents angry and sometime I made my beloved cry.

I know it all happened because I haven’t made one more push that time.

No doubt that it was my ego who had stopped me to take “U” turn.

Or in simple words I could say, I just gave-up.

But now 

searching for a “Rewind” button in life...................................