A trip to remember

Hampi, one of the UNESCO World Heritage Sites and a famous historical place; historical for us but famous in foreigners. I heard about the place from my cousin who is a history student, but any place having lots of temple was never my first preference to roam around and that’s why every time my Hampi trip got postponed. But as we all know, it’s always a better choice to move at life’s direction when you are not getting any better move by yourself; finally I booked the ticket in Hampi Express and visited this place. And truly speaking this was one of my heart pleasing trips till today.

Rocks, river, hills, breath-taking views, our TVS-champ; the bike I have taken on rent to roam around, round-boats, our hut, our nature walks and most prominently, the monuments, which includes beautiful temples, palaces, remains of  collapsed structures, ancient market streets, royal pavilions etc-etc. Every monument covers more than what they expose. This was my child-hood dream if I could live inside history pages and Hampi has made it true.

This was our last day in Hampi and that’s why nobody, neither we nor our camera was very charged. Nothing much was left to explore. We had arrested around 400 pictures as well as 5-6 nice videos of this paradise. Our camera was very much overloaded with our earlier day’s fun and we too feeling the same hangover.

It was 10:00 a.m. and we were still in the bed. Accepting the fact, finally I put my camera for charging and in-between Rashmi called room-service and ordered two teas.  I think each of us were pushing other to get ready for the day. Finally around 11:30 we were ready to explore the remaining part of hampi. We still wanted to add lot more for our memory and that’s why Rashmi’s right hand was always outside the taxi, holding camera in her hand whereas I was trying the same but through my eyes. In other words I can say we both were busy in collecting the proof of this awesome and unbelievable place in our own ways.

“Memory Full “, suddenly Rashmi got this message on the camera screen. I think our camera had just given up by saying I can’t read the history further. But Rashmi was not in mood to stop and that’s why she started cleaning all unwanted elements from the camera. She was busy doing her job and I was just watching, how she is keeping all my pictures even if it’s bad but not giving the same favor to her pictures; I believe this is one of her silent way to say, “I love you more than myself.”

In between we finished all the places and stopped to have lunch and she was again busy with clean up where as I was looking into menu card.

“Look! It’s showing ‘zero images’ message.” I heard a confused voice of Rashmi. Immediately I seized the camera and checked. “Fuckkkk” this was the only word which I could speak that time. She was correct; there was no image in the camera. We had lost all the beautiful memories within a fraction of time.  We were almost faint. Usually in this situation I used to shout but this time I was totally silent. I think it’s because I have already seen the guilty feeling in her eyes or maybe it’s because I knew she is sadder than me. Whatever, but the truth is, we had lost all the proofs of this unbelievable journey. I know this may sound very stupid but really, we were out of mind for some time, totally blank, not able to have a bite of our food. Only wish was to rewind our life for five minutes.

Definitely some people may call us crazy, for reacting in such a manner and that to for some pictures. But my theory is slightly different in this case which says every picture contains a story behind it, may be a small but always, just like monuments.

Well, we took 30 minutes to recover. I checked the time, its 2:30 pm. Still 5 hrs left to go. “What to do?” We asked to each other. Let’s stop here, may be its all destiny written, we can’t do anything. Let’s re-start this again and write a brand new destiny. Evil me and good me were fighting loudly and truly speaking, I couldn’t understand anyone’s voice but asked the taxi driver to take “U” turn. I didn’t know, was I trying to get her smile back or it was my “Never give-up” attitude, but again our taxi was running on the same old roads.

Hampi is really a dream place for many tourists who want to visit these historical monuments at least once in their life-time and its, us who were turning the same history pages again, that too, in the interval of 2-3 hrs. I don’t know its funny or being luckier, but anyhow, we had recovered almost 60 % memories back.

I was recalling the “If” poem of Rudyard Kipling and feeling like a “Man”.

I know this is very small incident, may be not worth to discuss or write. But when I rewind my life in thoughts I found many more similar incidents in which sometime I lost my best friend, sometime I misunderstood my brother, sometime I made my parents angry and sometime I made my beloved cry.

I know it all happened because I haven’t made one more push that time.

No doubt that it was my ego who had stopped me to take “U” turn.

Or in simple words I could say, I just gave-up.

But now 

searching for a “Rewind” button in life...................................

Alphabets of life

It has been more than 7 yrs, since I started my professional journey. The journey started from our capital city Delhi. A small company in south-X, with 12-15 people, just a table with 6 chairs in the name of cafeteria; A.C. didn’t work if the generator was running. The bus fare was Rs 5 from my place but most of the times I paid only 2. Salary was too little to survive for 30 days and that’s how I learned to build credit on others. We were sharing 2 BHK flat at that time; “We” means me and my 5 friends.  As compared to this day, everything was very small at that time; small dreams, small aims and small pockets. But still life was as good as today.

 We had no money to invest in share-market. No-one ever talked about buying a flat. Bikes ran in ‘main’ only in blue moons. Lajpat-Nagar and Sarojni-Nagar market were our favorite places for shopping and Sharma’s Burger was our favorite snacks.  It was only in the first week of month when we used to drink Royal-Challenge and after that each of our party started, at and with “8 PM”. Haldiram aloo bujiya and cucumber salad were the only available chakhna (refreshment) with drinks. But for smoking, I used to take “Classic-Regular” cigarettes only, I don’t know it was because I liked the taste or I used it as a status symbol, whatever. Paras Theater was our favorite multiplex, because sound system was really good and it was close to our house. Fuck-off, the truth is, because this was the cheapest theater. I think we had already implemented the Aamir Khan’s “All is well” theory and that too, 6 yrs before the release of “3 idiots”.

It’s then and now, I am a part of the brand race. I need brand for everything, brand for my work-place, brand for my appearance and most importantly, I need brand for my hunger too. And I really enjoy every part of this lifestyle; eating hygienic food, wearing branded cloths, travelling in my own car. I think this is what I always wished for and I feel proud that I have achieved it. Surely the speed and direction of my journey has changed long back, and my trousers too. Now they all have really big pockets. But I still use the same cigarette brand because I really like its taste.

Definitely, lots of things have changed and I can clearly see them. But I still don’t see any difference in my feelings. Many times I ask myself, has my happiness really multiplied in the same way as my salary? Have I really done something incredible of which I should feel proud? Do I really have any idea about the finishing point of this race?

Every time I get a big “NO” for an answer.

I was happy and I am happy. I had fun and I am having fun. Earlier nobody knew me outside office and still it’s nobody. My identity was a number and still it’s just a number, sometimes my PAN card number, sometimes my license number and sometimes it’s my employee number. I feel I have just added some more numbers in my life by these passing yrs and that’s all I have done.

Today a security guy of my office stopped me and asked to show my ID card which I forgot to bring. This is the same guy who greets me daily and I also say good-morning in reply. I felt bad. “Who am I?” I asked this to myself.

I didn’t have any hard feeling for the security guy because I knew he was just doing his job. And for me also, this was not the first time. So as always I went to the security room where the in-charge issued me one temporary ID card after taking my employee number details. And in a few minutes I was again back into the list of survivals.

But still something was hitting my head very hard and I was trying to find out a pain killer for it but to no success. I was thinking, what will happen if some day somebody will steal all my identity-cards or in case all my numbers got expired?  

Definitely life will not issue a temporary card every time. And in that case how will I prove my existence.

Confused, I asked this question to my heart…………….no Reply.

Kept asking the same question many times.  Still, no reply.

May be, my heart is busy hearing the song of the new released movie “ROBOT” in very high decibels.

An unforgettable hand-shake of my life

“God lives in every child’s hearts”, I believe this theory has stopped working for 20^th century kids. In this century, God has been totally swapped by Super heroes. Kids may don’t know anything about Hanu-man (Lord Hanuman) but they know all the history of Super-Man, Spider-Man, Bat-Man etc. Now day’s every kid want to become like his favorite super hero, trying to copy his actions, want to tie a towel in their neck and willing to fly, wish to be bitten by a spider and sometimes want to kill all the bad elements of this world, with his toy gun. I was also an active member of this crazy group, with one difference; their super heroes were unreal novel characters whereas mine was a real human being, 6 feet 2 inch tall, angry young man of bollywood, superstar Amitabh Bachchan.

Just like millions of other I am also fan of Mr. Bachchan but I never count myself in his great fans list because when I see people, who have collected thousand of his posters or his all movie CD’s or who are ready to die for him, I feel, it’s not possible for me to be part of any of these count or you can say I am not interested. But there is one thing which is also true, that is, he is always my inspiration, my role model.

I really don’t understand how it got start into me. May be it’s because my parents used to watch Mr. Bachchan’s movies just before my birth or maybe it’s because “Mr. Natwarlal” and me both released in the same year or maybe it’s because the hand-shake with Mr. Bachchan, which has shaken my life forever.

 I think, I was 4-5 yr old when I saw this legend from 2-3 feet distance. White kurta-Pajama, lots of garland made by Marigold flowers and one burned palm, I think left-one. My father told me that it happened during the shooting of Coolie movie and in between the conversation he shared that Mr. Bachchan is also left-hander like me. Really I can’t explain how much proud I felt that time, yes! I have a quality like my superhero. And it’s not only that crazy kid but this young man too; still feel proud for the same.

Back to that unforgettable hand-shake, for which I will never be 100% sure. Truly speaking, I really don’t know, in case he really touched my hand or not, but my parents always says this and moreover I always want to believe this as, the most unforgettable hand-shake of my life.

     Whatever may be a reason, but my fondness towards him was never hidden to my family members. Since childhood I loved to watch his movies and he was the only actor to whom I could recognize. But along with my liking for his good movies there was one more thing, that is, I used to appreciate his bad movies also and keep fighting with everyone for proving myself correct or you can say, for proving my super-hero correct. I don’t know whether it was because of my craziness towards him or it was because purity of a child’s heart that didn’t knew the difference between good and bad.

Time fluttered and like many of Mr. bachchan’s movies, where, in a fraction of time, a small kid becomes “Sikandar” or “Vijay Dina-Nath Chauhan”, a half-pant converts into belwatam and a slipper converts into long boot, I have entered in my 30’s, where all local brands have transformed into international brands, syllabus books have been defeated by face-book and girl-friend has been replaced by wife. Sometimes I really got confused that, which one is faster, speed of light or speed of life.

Now I am sensible viewer of Mr. Bachchan’s movies, that craziness has been lost somewhere in my old half-pant pocket. Now I know the difference between good and bad movies and I also criticize his movies sometimes. I believe, now I am sensible viewer of his movies. I think I am enough mature now. But I don’t know why, sometimes I still miss my child-hood, where all of his movies were good to me always.

Today Mr. Bachchan got his third National Award as best actor for movie “Paa”. In this movie he has played a 13-year kid role, which was affected by Progeria diseases. Really incredible job by a 68 yr old man. I wish, if sometime I could also go back to my child-hood again.

I wish, if sometime I could touch his hands again ….

Judgment Day

Its 11:00 AM of 30^th September 2010, we all are in rush to finish our today’s assignments as soon as possible. Usually in normal working days, this is the time when we start our office work, after finishing a cup of coffee, checking personal mails and updating status on face book. But it’s not an ordinary day, its Judgment day for Lord Ram. And, as per the mail from our HR department, we are supposed to leave office by 01:00 PM. This is a precautionary step which government has taken to maintain Law and order situation under control.

          I believe this will be the most exceptional day of my life when I am going to see some human, who will take decision for God. They are going to tell us about the correct birth place of lord Ram(God of Hindu’s) or maybe they will tell us the correct way to find Allah (God of Muslim’s). I believe this will be a big slap to NASA scientists who are happy, just by telling us correct weather report or correct location of a planet. 

         Since childhood I had a misconception that, God decides our lives, even my parents were also immature who asked me to do worship of God. I remember when I was small kid, my mother used to tell me that we should always be thankful to God, for each and every thing of our life. Today I am depressed because I can see my mother, first teacher of my life, was wrong. Now I understand how she has misguided me all the times. My heartily thanks to all of them, who helped me in opening of my eyes and made me enough mature so that I can judge my mother, who was wrong at many places. I clearly remember once she had said that All God is same.

     Oh mother! Why you did this to me?? You are the most trusted teacher of my life and I had never expected this from you. I am not sure; it’s because your lack of knowledge or you really didn’t want to teach me correctly. But it’s because of you, I am not able to differentiate between my God and their God till now.  I can see how easy, it is for my friends or even some kids who are 10-12 yr younger to me. They all know their God very well, they also have their God’s picture in their hands but you haven’t shared a single with me. They are ready to kill others, just for showing their love to God but for me all seems to be same, don’t know for whom I can fight, to show my passion and my love. It’s you mother, who made me to live like an orphan.

      I also remember once you said, if I will help poor people, God will be very happy and will always be there to help me. Truly mother, I just followed the same as you said but today when I lost my direction, I am not getting any help from God. And now I am realizing that, this was one more false theory which you taught me. Actually, the God to whom you had explained doesn’t exist in reality. Your intensions are very clear to me now. You always wanted to let me down, wanted to make me looser.

                                But mother, there is one thing which I want to tell you that, I’m not going to let you win so easily and that too when I got lots of good teacher who know all things correctly, even some of them are so qualified that they know the birth place of one of your God,”Lord Ram” and I am sure they must be knowing much more. And do you know the best part; they are ready to train me but with condition; they are asking me to break off with you forever. Really mother, once it was really impossible for me to leave you for a single moment but now things are different. I am enough mature to differentiate between good and bad and that’s why I am separating myself with you. I am not here to become a looser and one day I will prove this to you. One day I will come out from you black magic region in which I lived till today.
And one day I will also give judgment for your God.